


Beloved Leader

by GeminiBanana



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-15
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2018-11-01 01:53:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10911915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeminiBanana/pseuds/GeminiBanana
Summary: HanBin was a great leader. Never once has he ever thought he wasn't worthy of his position. But a few months before his debut got him thinking if he should leave before he brings everyone down with him. The once cold leader that the members love is tired.Until......





	1. 001

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on Asianfanfics but I thought since I have this account I should just post it here as well. No harm in doing it anyways. Comments are always welcomed ~

HanBin POV

I was walking towards the dance studio hoping the members are in the studio. We were suppose to start practice in half an hour, but the members weren't here yet. I sighed and took off my cap to fix my hair. I graze my fingers to my unwashed hair. I need to remember to wash my hair tonight. I looked around the studio, so much has happened here. I closed my eyes trying hard to block out the sounds that were forming in my ears. Two more months and we are going to have our debut full album.I have to be focused. The whole three month debut plan is going to come to an end soon. I sighed.

"Hyung!" Chanwoo walked in with his usual black hoodie with yunhyeong behind him. I smiled at them and greeted them back. "Where is Jinhwan and Junhoe?" I asked. Looking around seeing that Donghyuk was also missing. Bobby had his 'Show me the money' recording today so he was going to miss practice but where were the rest? I looked at the watch 10 more minutes before practice. It wasn't like them to be late for practice or anything. They should have been here by now.

"They said they would be here soon with Bobby hyung too." I nodded my head. I guess they went to pick him up. 

"Let's start warming up?" I said. As usual, I lead the group before practice. They nodded quickly placing their bags at the bench at the end of the studio and followed me warming up. Just a few minutes later, Jinhwan, Junhoe, Donghyuk and Bobby came in the studio. They put their stuff down and joined us after. Like usual, we practice our 'Apology' dance steps since our debut album wasn't that long. I kept my eyes on everyone and saw that Jinhwan and Bobby were having a hard time with their steps.

"Jinhwan, focus on your expression. You never know when the fans are looking at you." "Bobby, add more power to your steps." I said to them. After a while, everyone started to show that they were tired since their dance steps started to became weak. 

"Why are you guys like this? It's only been a couple of hours and you guys are already getting tired. The moves are not that difficult. We have done much more difficult things then this." I said after I turned off the music to look at them straight in the face. They were all panting out of breath. I knew that they were tired and it was already 1 o'clock in the morning but I knew that they had more in them. They could do better than this. Our fire that we had before debut was dying and I could see it. I need to relight it back up before it burns out before we comepletely lose ourselves and forget what we had been through. We finally had our debut but they are acting like this was a dream and that they would wake up any moment and destroy their dreams.

"HanBin, I think we should take a break. A five minutes break thats all. Bobby just got back from his recording and straight away went here. He must be tired." Jinhwan said putting his hands on to my shoulders to calm me down. I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply trying hard not to get mad. "Five minutes. Then we are going to finish practicing Apology." I said as I went down to sit at the corner. 

"Hyung." Suddenly, Chanwoo came to me with a cautious voice. I looked up to him."yea?" He handed me a bottle of water with his cute smile. I smiled back at him and took the bottle. He sat down next to me and played with his phone and the others came and gathered around us sitting and just chatting away like we always have. I leaned my head on to Chanwoo's shoulder and sighed. I could see a bit of what Chanwoo was looking at. It was a previous recording during our Debut single 'Airplane' show. He had a smile plastered on to his face while watching the video. He must be looking to see if he did any mistakes. He usually does that. I like him like that. It showed how much he was hard working. Though I would like it better if he looked over the recording we just made to see our Apology dance. He should be working on that more. Just then he caught me looking at him. "Hyung, can I go out for a while?" I blinked for a while taken back by the sudden question. "I'll be back in 5 minutes." 

"Yah! We should be practicing!" I got angry at him. He shouldn't be taking this dance practice lightly. We only have two months and we still haven't perfected the dance yet. "Right." He said quickly retracting back his words. I sighed and looked over to Jinhwan, Bobby and Yunhyeong. Yunhyeong was showing them how the dance was suppose to look like. Sometimes, I am thankful for Yunhyeong for helping me. I lifted my head from Chanwoo's shoulder and fixed my hair again. Just as I was about to lean back, Chanwoo wasn't there. I turned around and saw his phone was there but he was at the door leaning on to it talking to someone. It was his manager. I shurgged and thought nothing of it but I knew Chanwoo didn't really like it when people look at his phone. 

I decided that I should through it so that I know that he is not getting into any trouble. I have seen him put in his password one or two times so the second try I got it right. The recording that he was looking at was still on but was put on pause. The comment section was opened so I guess he was reading the comments. 

'He is so horrible. Why did he get choosen? He doesn't deserve it.'

'He is an child actor so must be his fans who are supporting him. I personally think that even if Chanwoo didn't make it he would have a plan b. The others don't have any acting job to turn to if they fail.'

'I think the votes were actually rigged and YG actually chose him just because he is famous.'

I looked over at the other comment. There were a lot of hate comments and somehow that hurt me. It angered me but somehow, Chanwoo manage to keep a smile on his face. I looked over at the boy who was still talking to his manager. I quickly put down his phone like it hasn't been touched and leaned back on the wall and pretended to be asleep when I saw him finishing his talk with the manager. Junhoe and Donghyuk were being weirdos in their own world to know whats going on anyways. As I felt a weight next to me and I guessing chanwoo leaned my head towards his shoulder so that I could be more comfortable and went back to what he was doing. I opened my eyes slowly and looked at his face. He was still smiling and looking through the comments. 

"I think I got it now. HanBin-ah." Suddenly, Jinhwan hyung came to me and pulled me away from Chanwoo. I looked over at him and saw him perfecting his move with Bobby. I nodded my head back to professionalisme and watched them closely. "Okay, that was better. Every gather and start dancing I want it to be perfect." I said as I joined in with them. We dance like it was the real stage and I could see that everyone was giving their all. Then my eyes landed on Chanwoo. If Chanwoo was keeping that from me then what are the other members keeping from me?

After the dance practice we decided to go back to the dorm but Chanwoo said that he wanted to stay back."Chanwoo-ah. We have been practicing for more than 7 hours. It's 4 am. You need to sleep." I said grabbing him by his shoulder. He smiled back at me with his dimpled smile and shook his head. "I want to do it a few more times then I'll come back up." He said trying not to worry me. I sighed and knew that chanwoo is sometimes stuborn and he would just sneak off at night anyway if I didn't let him practice a few more times. "I'll stay with you." I said to him. He looked at me shocked at first but then shook his head telling me didn't want me. 

"Hyung you have been here all morning.You can go back. I am not going to be that long anyways." He said rubbing the back of his neck. Bobby took it as a sign to jump in the conversation and convice me to go back to the dorm with them.

 

After we got in to the dorm, I needed to drink milk to sleep. I was extra worried about Chanwoo after I found out what he has been looking at. I walked over to fridge and saw a note on the fridge. 'Hyung, chocolate ice cream for you too cool down! Fighting!! Don't stress out to much!" I took down the note pad and looked at it. When did he have to do this? We all knew whose handwriting it was. Chanwoo.

"Hanbin, why are you still awake?"Jinhwan and Bobby came into my view and asked me. I sighed and just shook my head. "I couldn't sleep." I said casually. Bobby looked over to the note that I was holding and went over to the fridge and took out the choco ice cream. 

"Wah, this boy is sucking up to B.I...." Bobby said teasingly which made me blush and Jinhwan let out a laughter. "I still remember how you were like at Japan." Jinhwan hyung said and he took a seat infront of me and Bobby.

"CHANWOO-ah!" Bobby imitated which made me blush even harder. I love to tease me since they knew I had a little soft spot for the younger. 

"Search all over Osaka if you can't find at Osaka, go to Tokyo if you still can't find it at Tokyo go to Furuoka or Nagoya." Jinhwan imitated as he gave a the electric bill that was on the table to Bobby who looked dumbfounded at Jinhwan for a while."How the hell am I going to buy ice cream with bills?!" He asked Jinhwan who was cracking up. They never fail to amaze me Jinhwan and Bobby. My closest friends. Then start Bobby bringing up the past when it was just me, jinhwan and him. I looked over at the time and it was almost 6. Why isn't Chanwoo back yet?

"Okay, you guys need sleep. Tomorrow we have to go to vocal practice." I said pushing Jinhwan hyung and Bobby towards their room. "Aren't you going to sleep?" Bobby asked me as he saw me walk out of the room. I wore my hoodie and turned to look at him. "I am going to drag that boy back home." I said.


	2. Chapter 2

No one's POV 

Hanbin looked at Chanwoo worriedly, Chanwoo was still practicing in the studio and HanBin was stalking him from the doors making sure that the younger couldn't see him. He sighed as memories started to rush back to him. 

 

 

Hanbin's POV 3 years ago~

I woke up late in the middle of the night suddenly and decided that maybe warm milk would help me sleep. After heating up the milk, I went to check up on everyone in their rooms. That's when I saw an empty bed in one of the rooms. Where did Donghyuk go? Worry started to form in my mind and I woke Jinhwan hyung and asked him if he knew where Donghyuk went. 

"Jinhwan hyung~ Do you know where Donghyuk is?" I said shaking him lightly trying not to scare him. He was half asleep and half awake at this point. It was such an adorable sight but I had to focus on where Donghyuk is first before I gush about how Jinhwan hyung looks like right now.

"Huh? Donghyukie?" He said rubbing his eyes as he slightly got up from his bed. "He said he was going to go to the studio for awhile." He said yawning in the process. My eyebrows furrowed. Why the studio?

"Why is he there?" I asked again. "He wanted to practice the dance move again." He replied looking at me with his watery eyes and looking at me and glancing at the clock. 

"I am going to tell him to comeback. He needs sleep. Tomorrow is our monthly evaluation." I angrily. That boy really needed to be well rested so that he doesn't get over worked with every thing. Before I could leave, Jinhwan's hyung bed, he held on to my hand before I could leave. 

"Hanbin-ah." He said trying to get my attention. I looked over to him and went back to his bed. "What is it?" 

"Hanbin-ah, I think he is just worried about the whole thing. This is going to be his first evaluation anyways and I think its pressuring him. Just take it easy on him." I sighed and nodded my head. I pushed Jinhwan hyung's head to lay back on his pillow. "Ara! I am just going to talk to the boy." I said chuckling at the worried Jinhwan. He was worried but the sleepiness was taking over him and the soft pillow wasn't helping that he fell back into his deep slumber. 

 

I walked over to the studio in while wearing my black hoodie and favorite hat on. I still think that the boy was foolish to come practice on the night before the evaluation. 

"Hyung!" He said surprised to see me after I entered the dance studio. I looked around the room and saw a couple of empty bottles at the side and he was on the ground sweating. He was tired and I could see it in his face but he also had the determination in his face that I saw. No matter what I said to him he was going to stay and practice. 

"Give me 5 minutes." I said. I was wearing my slippers so I decided to take them off and warm up. If he wasn't going to comeback, I am going to stay and make him do it right so that I can finally drag him home. "Huh?" He had a confused face on him as he saw me warming up. "Do it again. I want to see it." I said not even bothering to explain to him. He quickly stood up and began to dance. All the time, I was watching him every step, every move and every expression.

"Do it again." I said again. He just did what I said through out the dance. Fixing his mistakes along the way, and I would sometimes join in the dance. 

"Donghyuk-ah. Come here." I said to him after he finally got the dance right. He came closer to me as I passed him a bottle of water to drink. 

"You should know that the first evaluation is going to be brutal. YG would just point out your mistakes, but one thing I learned over the years, Everyone can do anything. They just have to do it. So I want you to just do it. Get through it, and learn from your mistakes. There is nothing easy in life." I said looking at him to make sure he understood me. "People make mistakes to be better, so that they don't do the same mistakes." 

"Hyung, how was your first evaluation?" He asked me after sometime. I sighed and remembered back the day. "It was Jinhwan hyung, Bobby and me." I started off. 

"I was already told that I was the leader in the group which made no sense at first for me, and I was constantly told to be better and I was a mess. I was good but not good enough. My leader skills were all over the place, you should have seen me." I said jokingly. "It was horrible, one of the worst days of my life because after entering YG I knew that there were better people who can rap like me and dance like me. I didn't stood out the way I wanted to." Donghyuk looked at me nodding his head. 

"Look, we better get back. We have at least 3 hours left to sleep and you need the energy to face YG tomorrow." I said patting Donghyuk telling him to get up. 

 

The next day~

 

We finished performing in front of YG and we were now in line getting ready to get our results from him. I would be lying if I said this was my favourite part of the evaluation. YG had nothing but critics to us because I knew that he wanted to make us know what harsh comments were. To be prepared, to get hate fans for doing absolutely nothing wrong and also being prepared to face the world and to show our best selves. To be on top.

"First of all, everyone is slowly improving and I didn't completely hate it but there are two members who for me were lacking in both performance." YG started off. I sighed, we were still lacking. I maintained my face and continued to listen. "Kim Donghyuk and Kim Hanbin." We were all shocked at first that I was also included but I knew it was coming already. 

"Kim Donghyuk, its a good thing that I can see you blend in with the group perfectly and your dance skills have improved since the last time I saw you, which was your audition tape. But you didn't stand out. You looked like a back up dancer. Nothing about you stood out enough to grab my attention."He started to say. I knew that it was partially my fault as well because I noticed how he was just plain by the way he danced and sang. "I wish you could try and work on it. Because you were just bland to me just now. There was no wow factor to it and you looked like you weren't enjoying the song. You were just singing it. At this rate, I don't think you are fit to even be called an artist." Donghyuk nodded his head and said that he would work on it and bowed to YG.

"Now, Hanbin. What happened out there? I expected it from the new trainee but I didn't expect it from you. You were out of focused today and you rap was soul less. I expect you to be the leader in this group and show a good example but is this what you call a good example?" He first started off. YG was like a second father to me. My father was rarely at home and after YG took me in he had always looked out for me. Making him disappointed in me is the worst thing for me to hear. I apologized and didn't try to make an excuse. I was responsible. I have to look out for the other members and I also have to look out for myself too. I can't let my team down. 

"Team B and Team A, I hope you guys take the comments that I giving you seriously. To reach the top you need to give it your all. That means doing the best you can." YG started to say. Ending his comment on me just like that. I held it in. I didn't want to cry. Like YG said, to reach the top we need to give our all. That means no matter whether the performance is live on stage or just in the dance studio, we have to give it our all no matter where it is and no matter when. 

"Dismiss." YG said as he went out with few of other people tailing behind him. Team A hyungs were slowly going out of the studio and leaving us all there. I sighed and crouched down. I felt a familiar hand patted my back soothingly. Jinhwan hyung. 

"Hyung." Suddenly, a pair of shoes came to my eyesight. It was Donghyuk. I looked up and saw Donghyuk's guilty face. I sighed and smiled at him. "Congratulations, Donghyukie. You have finally face the wrath of YG for the first time." I said clapping my hands. Everyone else followed suit because they knew how harsh evaluations are usually are. He still had the guilty look on his face which made me feel bad to make him think that it was his fault. If it was anybody's fault, it was mine. 

"Donghyukie~ It's okay. It wasn't your fault. In fact last night I couldn't sleep anyways. After practicing with you helped me sleep. I just didn't have that much sleep. So take this as a lesson. Don't stay up so late on the night before evaluations okay?" I said teasingly to him. He looked at me and nodded his head. "Now, get that face out of here, I don't want to see it. I want to see my cute dongsaeng back." I said full of aegyo and pinching his cheeks which made him cringe of my awkward aegyo. "Oh, hyung!" I looked at him like what? 

"You don't look great when you try to act cute." He mumbled while shaking his head. I went over to hug Jinhwan hyung who hugged me back as the other members started to leave the room. "Don't worry. You're cute to me HanBin-ah." Jinhwan hyung said comforting me. I blushed and thanked him. 

 

 

A year later~ (2 years before their debut)

After we got home, we saw the camera around the place. We were just announced that we would be competing with Team A hyungs and now they had set up the cameras around the house. I could help but pout at the my bedroom's camera. "That means less cuddles from Jinhwan hyung." I mumbled to myself. I sighed and tried my best to think positively. Don't worry Kim HanBin! All of us will get to debut soon. I did a silent hwaiting at the camera and went to bed.


	3. 003

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, heads up to those that might not have read this before at the other website. At first, this was an undecided pairing of whether it was Chanbin or Binhwan. I was a trash for Binhwan for a while but Chanbin always win in the end. But I promise there is more to come of Chanwoo, and I noticed that my story got a bit side tracked but I trying to fix it, not sure how yet, but I am. Anyways, comment and subscribe~ It's forever welcome here. Besides we are all strangers here, no matter what you say, I will appreciate it and will not judge you what so ever!

Still 2 years ago before their debut ~

 

No one's POV 

Being in Who is next Win was hard for them. It was hard for their Team A hyungs and it was also hard for the younger boys in Team B. They thought it wasn't fair. They had trained to together most their time in YG and they were practically brothers at that point. HanBin was so immersed in the studio trying to come up with a new songs for his Team that he didn't notice Bobby coming in the room. Who could blame him? Bobby didn't even say anything and he was so focused on the screen with the song blasting loud so that he could concentrate that no one would hear Bobby closing the door behind him. Jiwon smiled at the sight. Hanbin was moving his head to the groove of the music humming the melody along the way. 

 

"Yo~" Ji won said as he suprised B.I by placing his hand on to his shoulder. "AH! You scared me!" HanBin said surprised as he managed to put an eye roll in as well. 

 

"Wah, Hanbin. I like it. It sounds nice." Ji won said ignoring Hanbin as he grabbed a chair an sat next to HanBin. Bobby had made it a tradition to always come and check up on Hanbin just in case the younger needed his help with anything. Just then, Ji won realized that something was different about the younger. 

 

"Hanbin-ah. Where is your ring?" He asked as he pointed out to HanBin ring finger which used to be occupied by a silver ring. For most of his life that he had known HanBin, he had never seen the boy taken of the ring. Not even when they went to shower together. Hanbin shifted for a while and looked at his finger. "Ah, that ring. I had it clean. It was getting dirty." Han Bin quickly explained not wanting to make such a big deal about it. 

 

 

But that didn't convince Ji won, he knew how much the ring meant to the younger because that was the ring that his father gave him and his little sister got an identical one but hers were tied to a necklace. Hanbin use to say how it was a strong bond for his family. "But you never take it off." 

 

"It was getting itchy. Because I never took it off thats why the ring is dirty. Ai, hyung! Stop asking about the ring. I am sure you came here to ask me something. It hasn't been an hour since you left saying you were hungry and you wanted to eat something." Hanbin said as he spun his chair to look directly at Bobby who was caught off guard. "Oh, yeah. Donghyuk's mother came. He told us to come back to the dorm. He has food." 

 

"Okay. I am hungry anyways." B.I said with his baby voice towards Bobby. Bobby cringed and shook his head at the younger.

 

"I am not Jinhwan hyung who can stand your baby voice. Come on! I'll buy you churros along the way." B.I smile got wider when Bobby mentioned Churros and hugged Bobby tightly. "YES! CHURROS!" B.I the food monster was something Bobby could never get tired of. 

 

At the dorm~ 

 

As they got into their dorm room. They were greeted by by a sight of Donghyuk, jinhwan, yunhyeong and June who were sitting in a circle with a bunch of food in containers in the middle.

 

"Oh. Welcome home!" Donghyuk said rushing over to Bobby to hug Bobby but Yunhyeong managed to pull the younger down and glared at him saying don't you dare. Donghyuk just laughed it of and gave a wink to Bobby but then got smacked by Yunhyeong at his thighs. 

 

"Don't worry Yunhyeong you have me." Hanbin said trying to cheer the younger male up which earned an eye roll from Jinhwan and Donghyuk. 

 

"June!" Suddenly, Jinhwan said moving closer to Junhoe. Junhoe just sat there and stared at his two hyung who were giving death glares to each other. "June is my new best friend now." Jinhwan said hugging Junhoe. Junhoe scoffed and just shook his head letting his hyung do what ever he wants. 

 

"Ai, hyung! Let's just eat! I am starving!" Hanbin said after witnessing Jinhwan's actions and just went in between Junhoe and Jinhwan. Jinhwan just smirked at the younger and began to put food on his plate. Hanbin as usual was grumpy, he was sitting there and just gobbling up his food like Bobby who was oblivious to the situation that was happening. 

 

"Hanbin-ah. Mianhae. I was just teasing you." Jinhwan said after he found that the situation was uncomfortable since Hanbin was still sulky about what happened. Hanbin looked at Jinhwan for a while and just ate his food in silence. 

 

"Hanbin-ah!" Donghyuk and Yunhyeong were both just giggling at the situation. Jinhwan and Hanbin were fighting again like it was a common thing to happpen everyday at least once. 

 

"Hyung, I have never said once that I wasn't your best friend. And you saying June is your new best friend hurts. Did you know hyung?" Hanbin said making the older feel guilty.

 

 

"Ara! I am sorry so now stop sulking. Here, say ah."Jinhwan said feeding Hanbin a piece of meat. "Hanbin is Jinhwan's best friend." Hanbin smiled at the statement and showed his tongue at Junhoe who was just ignoring the hyungs being weird. 

 

"Glad you guys made up. Donhyuk and June you guys are in charge of cleaning up. Come on HanBin. We have to go and finish that song." Bobby said finishing up his food and looking over to Hanbin who was also finishing up his food.

 

"We will come by later. After we finish cleaning up the place." Hanbin nodded his head and left the dorm with Bobby.

 

 

After cleaning up the place, the members then went to the studio where Jiwoon and Hanbin were writing the self composed song that they had to make and the was also rearranging the composition that their Teddy sunbae nim made.. 

 

"Where are you on our self composed song?" Asked Jinhwan toward the head banging Hanbin. Hanbin just gave a glare and continued banging his head lightly. Jinhwan looked over to Bobby who was shaking head saying that we got nothing. The other members had rarely seen Hanbin banging his head over a song or even just being stuck not knowing what to do. 

 

"How about we go out and we talk about this while walking outside at park. It might help." Yunhyeong said trying to help out the older. Bobby tried to imagine the situation for a while and nodded his head. "Yea, that could work."

 

"We will get scolded for bring the composition out of the building when its not even complete or out yet. And its too risky to go out." Hanbin said still banging his head. Jinhwan sighed and looked at Junhoe and Donghyuk for any ideas. "How about the rooftop?" The youngest asked. 

 

"Rooftop-- Might work." Hanbin said thinking that it was not such a bad idea. 

 

 

"Okay, let's go there." Ji won said pulling out Hanbin's Mac Book that was charging and was the first to head up to the rooftop. "Come on." Jinhwan said guiding Hanbin to follow the rest.

 

At the rooftop was peaceful and beautiful. The trees that were planted there were blooming, and the breeze was cold indicating that the winter was near. 

 

"Wah, this is my first time up here." Donghyuk said amazed. Everyone else were smiling and just staring at the view finding peace. Once Binhwan arrived at the rooftop, jinhwan let go off Hanbin and went to the edge of the building. He held on to the railing and looked at the scenery. It was already sunset and the colours at the sky was amazing. Everyone except Jiwon, Junhoe and Hanbin didn't take pictures. At the other side of the building, B.I stood there rather than looking at the scenary, he was looking at his hands. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath trying to ease the pain in his chest. 

 

 

"Find anything that can be as a muse to you yet?" Jinhwan suddenly appeared beside Hanbin. Hanbin just smiled at the older and just shook his head. "Come on, look at it! The view is amazing. Makes me think about my parents stories about their dates during high school." Jinhwan said laughing. He looked over to Hanbin who was just staring at oblivion and just feeling the cool air rush to his face. Jinhwan was afraid that something was bothering the leader. It wasn't that long since they all had a fight and even though the younger said nothing about it since. He still thinks that something was bothering the younger not sure whether it was about the fight or something else. After a while, the sun was already gone and it was getting darker and colder. They were wearing thin clothes that couldn't possibly protect them from the cold wind, so they decided to go back to the studio.

 

"Let's listen to the song again." Jiwon decided. Everyone nodded their heads and just sat and heard the composition playing. "Let's start on a topic. What kind of topic are you guys thinking about?" Hanbin said looking at the other members. "How about we talk about being single? Since we are all single any ways." Jiwon said looking at everyones reaction. He heard what Jinhwan was talking about to hanbin and he just had the thought about it. 

 

"That's new. We could use that." Donghyuk said liking the idea. Hanbin nodded his head and tried to elaborate the topic bigger so that it was easier for them to write something. "It's not bad to be single but in the end, I'm just another boy who needs love." Hanbin said. They nodded their heads liking the idea.

 

"Since we got the theme for the song, what's the title going to be?" Jinhwan asked "Just another boy." Junhoe said putting out as a suggestion. Everyone smiled finally decided on a theme for the song. "Okay. We can start writing for that but before that we should also talk about the original song." Jinhwan said before everyone got too happy. 

 

"I have a melody saved that I haven't done anything with it yet. But I was thinking that we should have a stage where they would cry or be moved by the songs. To show our emotions to them that this us and our moments to get here." Hanbin said pulling out his laptop and played a melody for them. 

 

"Sounds good." Bobby said wondering why Hanbin didn't play this earlier. "How about we each give our lyrics and we will take it from there. I want the lyrics to show our story." Everyone nodded their head in understandment and all dispersed to start up on their story. 

 

"Hanbin hyung, can I give you my diary instead. I don't know how to write the lyrics." Junhoe said as he went over to talk to Hanbin. Hanbin nodded his head and said that it was okay. 

 

"Alright, can you give it to me tonight?" Junhoe nodded his head and thanked the leader. 

 

 

"Come on, let's get going. We will see you guys later." Jinhwan said bring the everyone else back to the dorm since it was already late at night and they need to be fresh awake for tomorrow to start on their choreography performance.

 

"We will be up later. We're just going to get this going then we will come up." Jiwon said as he saw Hanbin walked in to the studio where they write the songs. Jinhwan nodded his head still with a unsettling feeling in his chest as he left the two behind. 

 

 

"I want to start working on the rap. Are you okay with that?" Hanbin said looking over to Jiwon who was still looking at him for quite some time. "Okay. I am sure it's not going to be a problem." Jiwoon said as he looked at B.I who was already some lyrics on the book. Jiwon sat down on the chair and thought about his story. Then he remembered his dream. It was a dream about his mother. 

 

So, like that. They started to write the lyrics. It didn't take long for Hanbin and Jiwoon to finish their rap since they already had the melody and they were experinced enough to write their own lyrics.. After listening to each others lyrics they did their last interview for the day and went back to the dorm. 

 

"I think I am going to sleep with Jinhwan hyung tonight." Hanbin said as they entered the dorm room. Bobby nodded his head and headed for their room when Hanbin went over to Jinhwan and Donghyuk's room. 

 

 

"Hyung?" Hanbin said looking at Jinhwan's bed but it was empty. "Hanbin-ah. He is in our room." Suddenly, Bobby said as he came in the room and whispered trying hard not to wake Donhyuk up. Hanbin stood up and walked over to their room and saw Jinhwan asleep on his bed. Hanbin smiled and went to his bed sharing the bed with Jinhwan.

 

"Hey." Jinhwan said after he woke up with the sudden weight. Hanbin smiled and greeted the older back.


	4. Chapter 4

No one's POV

Bobby is basically known as the eomma in the group and he knows when there is something wrong. So being the eomma that in the group, he was 'stalking' the leader who wasn't the same since their last big fight. Hanbin is not the type who would stay quiet and keeps on spacing out. It was almost their last stage, they were waiting for their cue to perform their original song, Climax. During their previous performance, Hanbin looked like he had no worries in the world but everytime he goes backstage, he turns into a different person. 

"Jinhwan hyung, don't you think something is wrong with Hanbin?" Jiwoon asked as he sat down next to Jinhwan as they were got their hair done. "I know what you mean." Jinhwan said also looking at the said member who was busy looking at his phone to notice his two best friends staring at him. 

"Do you think we should talk to him?" Jiwoon asked remembering the last time they decided to confront the leader. The ending wasn't pretty but at least it helped the situation a bit. "We should before we go on stage. We are suppose to enjoy the night. As a team, right now, I feel like Hanbin is not even in the team. Its like he getting further away from us." Jinhwan said a bit of disappointment in his voice. He was very worried about their leader/bestfriend. 

 

"Come on."Bobby said as he stood up from his seat after they were both finished with their make-up and hair.They both walked over to the younger and saw that he was loooking through photos in his phone. They both stood in front of him and waited for him to at least acknowledge them. Hanbin, noticed the sudden shadow that was on him so he looked up and saw the two looking at him expectingly. "Hyung." He said not understand the situation as they took a seat next to him. 

"Hanbin-ah. Are you okay?" Bobby was the first to initiate the conversation. The other members was just watching them closely afraid of whats going to happen. Hanbin looked at everyone and noticed that everyone was looking at him. "Yea, I am." Hanbin was lying and the members could see it. 

"Are you sure? You've been quiet lately." Jinhwan said slowly and then the others after they finished getting ready all started to huddle up at Hanbin. 

 

Hanbin POV 

I looked everyone and they were just staring at me. The members were in a circle around me like they were afraid I would break or something. I sighed, I had to be more careful of my actions. It's because we have been together for a long time that they could see through my lie. But I don't know how to tell them. I don't want to burden them with my personal problems. I put up the best smile. "I am really fine. I have been preoccupied with the songs that I guess..." I said telling them half of the truth. The youngest looked at me and held on to my shoulder.

"Hyung, you didn't want to eat either lately." He said worriedly at me. I felt bad that I was worrying them. We are brothers but somehow I don't even know if I should tell them what's going on. What if they hate me? What if they wouldn't want me to be in their team? I guess it showed how worried I was about telling them that they just smiled at me and said it was okay and that I didn't have to tell them now.

"Hanbinie, and everyone else. I hope you guys won't keep anything from me or the team. We are here for you guys. Brothers forever." Jinhwan hyung said as he held on to my hand to comfort me telling me that everything was going to be okay.

"Forever." Bobby said grinning like an idiot and hugging everyone. I sighed, what did I do to deserve them?

"Team B. You go on at 5." The crew said to us. We all nodded our heads and started to hug each other wishing each other good luck.

 

 

I breathed in deeply trying to calm my heart. No matter how many times I have been on stage, it still give me a rush hoping that I don't mess up. As the lights turn on, Donghyuk started to play the piano for the begining of the song. The fans were screaming and shouting then it was Bobby's cue to start his rap. 

The song meant alot to us. It's now or never. It was my finally my part. As I walked towards the main stage, I looked over to where I knew my mom and my little sister was. I almost choked but I gathered myself and continued. I tried to keep myself from crying. 

 

The gods asked me if I  
wasn’t gonna regret this  
But I answer without hesitating,  
why would I regret?  
What’s left behind this stage  
is either success or failure  
I put my everything on the line  
and there is no next time  
My determination has no choice  
but to be different  
from others

 

The members trusted me to lead them and I just hope that I didn't let them down. I put everything in that rap. Like the line,

"With the weight of not just my life  
but five others on my  
shoulders, looking for chances  
I had no choice but to throw  
away the pressure and failures"

I meant every word of it. At the end of the song, I could see Han byul cheering for me and I could feel the wave of sadness in me. I tried hard to cry but at the corner of my eye, I could see Bobby hyung crying and the tears just came. I couldn't help it anymore. Whatever happens, I just hope I didn't ruin my team's lives. We have to win this or not there is no certain future where we would even debut together. We might get disband if we don't make it. We walked down the stage and saw that the Team A hyungs were there waiting for us with tears in their eyes. They just cried and hugged us knowing that after this, one of us is going to win. Minho hyung and I exchanged looks and just hugged each other. Minho hyung was very close to me and he knew what we had to go through. He was always there to support us even though we were in the opposing teams. 

 

 

After the final voting, we all stood at the stage. Jinhwan still had tears in his eyes and had the proud face on him. We learned so much this past few months, the struggle and the rejection that we had to go through. I tried to keep a straight face, to make it seem like I was strong. I had always had the image of the cold leader, I couldn't break down now. Minho hyung stood beside me and we held hands for a while to show that no matter what happens. We are still brothers and nothing to break us apart. We all belong in the YG family. 

 

"The winning team is..." Daesung sunbaenim said after he opened the envolope of the results. Our hearts were beating rapidly and everything just flashed in our eyes for a moment. "TEAM A! Congratulations Team A!" 

Then that was it, when I felt the whole world crumbling down in front of me. I saw the tears of our fans, Eomma, and the members. I turned to Jinhwan hyung and hugged him, knowing that he was already a crying mess. Everything that we had worked for just turned to waste. 'If I just had done a bit better maybe we would have won' was what I saw in the looks of my members. I could see pain in their eyes and disappointment in their eyes. The Team A hyung were already crying too, the first thought that came to their mind was to hug us telling us that they were sorry and that we would be okay. We all stepped to backstage, Winner hyungs had to go back since they had to start practicing for their debut right away so it was just us again at the waiting room. Waiting for our van to arrive. 

"I am sorry guys." Suddenly, Jinhwan said with his raspy voice. We all knew what he was going to say. It wasn't anyones fault. I knew they did the best that they could. I tried to put on a smile for them. Bobby hyung was already in a depressed state. I think it effected him more than us. He left his family just to persue his dream. I knew exactly what he was thinking. He had gave hope to his family and he thought that he had let them down. I sighed and patted everyones back. 

"This is not the end guys! Let's just take this as a lesson. Nothing comes easy in life. We just have to do everything better from now on. Give our hundred percent." I said cheering them up. I was their leader. I have to be responsible for them, I have to take responsibility until the end. 

"You're right. Let's promise that we would debut together. All six of us." Yunhyeong said looking at all of us. They all had sad smiles on them but I thought that that was good enough for now. We needed to be strong for each other. Especially at a time like this. "Promise." We all said in unison. 

"Get ready?" I said trying to lift their spirits."Showtime!" I was glad enough that they responded to me. It showed me that they still trusted me. After all of that and they still trusted me to lead them. And I was grateful for that. 

 

 

 

 

No one's pov

 

The next day~ 

Hanbin couldn't sleep last night. Everyone was exshausted after last night and all went to sleep early with tear stains on their faces. That night, he spent all night talking his eomma. Her words were still was still fresh and lingering in his head. 

"You did good. I love it how you would shine on stage. Take care of the others and work hard. Show them that you guys deserve to debut. I am going to always to support you."

"I hope that you don't worry about us. Just stay strong and know that we love you."His mother came to see him for a while after the show to give him a hug, so did Han byul but they had a short visit because Han byul had to go to school tomorrow and it was already getting late. Hanbin didn't want to worry his mother either so he told them to leave. 

Around 6 am in the morning, all the members woke up one by one getting ready. Jinhwan was the first to get ready and sat beside Hanbin leaning on to his shoulders with his puffy eyes. "We need to make YG know that we were serious. To show that this is not going to let us down. That we deserve to be on stage." Hanbin said to the older. The older nodded his head as he watched the other members bustling around trying to get ready as fast as they can. "What do you suggest we do?"

 

 

At YG's office~

After the final voting, there was tons of email coming through the CEO's email asking him to let Team B debut. Truthufully, he was surprise by the sudden turn of events. Team B was doing great but Team A managed to capture the hearts of the audience more than Team B. He was torn apart on what he was going to do with them. He already said that its either the losing team would get disband or change the members. 

"Mr. Yang, Team B are here to see you." YG's secretary through the office phone. He was surprised to hear that. He just came to work early today because he had an early meeting in an hour to discuss about what's going to happen to them but he didn't expect them to come and see him this fast. "Let them in."

 

One by one, they came in. Hanbin was in front as always with the same determined look on his face. So did the other members, all wearing the same determined look on their faces just like when they first entered the company. Hanbin was the first one to pull out his cellphone and the others followed suit. "You can keep them for as long as you think is necessary." Hanbin said politely. It was known to the trainees when they did something wrong or as punishment to make them focus more was by handing over their phones and train harder in the studio than they did before. For them to hand in their cellphones without even being asked by YG or anyone else, amazed YG. 

"I get it. And for your team, we haven't decided on anything yet. We will tell you as soon as we decide on what to do." YG said as usual. Even though he was amazed by their determination and dedication to this he still had to set boundries to make sure that he wasn't favouring over them. "Okay. We will get going first. Have a nice day. And thank you." HanBin and the other members bowed towards YG. After they all left, YG smiled. They were growing up and he was glad that after the survival show, they weren't going to let it bring them down that easily.


	5. Chapter 5

Chan Woo POV 

It's been 3 days since we first came in the group. And there was still an awkward tension between us all. Jinhyeong seems to be fitting in to the team more than me. I need to keep my head in the game. 

 

Flashback 

5 months ago

 

"Hyung, I am thinking of being an idol." I said to the closest hyung I had grown to over the years of being an actor. The great Lee Minho. I don't brag about it because I don't want to seem as that kind of pushy friend. He was much older than I am and had always been a hyung to me since the first time I played being his youngerself in boys over flowers.

 

"Again? Chanwoo you keep saying that but when are you going to actually do it?" He said looking at me as he sipped on to his coffee. We were at our usual hang out cafe. I don't really get to see him a lot but when he has the time he makes it a point to check up on me. "This time, I am really going to do it." I said determinedly as I looked over to him. He smiled and ruffled my hair. 

 

"You are making me regret buying you that ticket to go to that Big Bang concert." Hyung said with his deep chuckle. I smirked and smiled back him. 

 

"I am going to audition tomorrow. Any word of advice?" He raised an eyebrow at me and looked at me seriously. "You are being serious right now aren't you?" I just nodded my head. I could understand why he is reacting like that because it has been countless of times I have mentioned that I wanted to be an idol but never really pursue it because there was nothing that pushed me to do it. But after watching Who is next win, that when I saw it. I wanted to be on stage like them. Team B really touched my heart and was they were the push that I needed to start doing it. 

 

"You do know that it's not going to be an easy challange. I mean, look at acting. Just getting a role was hard think about debuting as a singer and under YG at that. You are going to have to shed blood and tears for this." He said with his serious face at me. He was always the hyung that I could rely on. He just didn't want me to get hurt but I am serious about all of this. I was more determined than I was before. 

 

 

"So I am guessing you agree with me auditioning?" He looked at me weirdly for a second and shook his head at me. 

 

"I am not your parents Channie. I can't tell you what to do and what not to do." He said handing his half of a cake to me. He could never really finish his cakes. Makes me wonder why does he even bother buying it. He is seriously not helping me loose the fat on my cheeks. 

 

"But you are my hyung. I'd like it if I know that you are supporting me." He smiled at me and pinched my cheeks. Which hurt so I quickly swatted his hands away from my chubby cheeks. "You have grown so much. The last time I saw you, you were this adorable kid that loved acting. What happened to that kid? Did I lose my acting buddy?" He said pretending to be depressed. I scoffed and just shook my head at him.

 

"Somehow you can never act good in front of me hyung. You are not the amazing Lee Minho hyung that I know. Give him back to me~" I said laughing while shaking him. We laughed it off and then suddenly, the cafe bell rang. It was a common thing to see actors and idols in this cafe, but I still couldn't get over with who I saw walk in the cafe. It was Hanbin, Jinhwan and Bobby. Me with my wide mouth open I saw them getting ordering their coffee. I swear I look like a kid that just saw their crush walk through right now. Suddenly, there was a tap on my shoulder. 

 

"What's wrong?" Hyung asked as pointed a fork at me. I grinned and shook my head. If he knew why I was so red right now he would surely embaress me.

 

"Come on. Don't you have a CF shooting later hyung?" He looked at his watched and nodded his head when he finally realised the time. "Alright, come on let's go." 

 

End of flash back~

 

 

Eventhough it was just talk with Minho hyung. I still couldn't shake off what he said. He told me that it wasn't going to be easy. That meant that he approved in somewhat way and was just giving me advice. I quickly packed my clothes in my bag and tried hard not disturb the other members. Then suddenly, Yunhyeong came to me. 

 

"Hey, aren't you going to join us with dinner?" He asked as he pointed to the other hyungs eating in a circle. I smiled at him and shook my head. "No. I have to meet a hyung soon and later I am going to stop by and practice. I still can't get the dance right." He smiled sadly at me and patted my back.

 

"I know how you feel Chanwoo. I was in your position too but you don't have to avoid us. It would make the situation more complicated and hard. If you don't think that you are not fitting in you should just keep on trying. There is no harm in trying." I chuckled at him and nodded my head. "Yes, hyung. I'll keep that in mind." 

 

He smiled at me and patted my back before walking off. Then a sudden thought ran my mind.. I walked over to them all and it was awkward because I was the only one standing. They all stared at me for a while and looked at me expectingly. I knew it was not easy breaking their walls.. but like Yunhyeong hyung said, there is no harm in trying right?

 

"Hyung."I said stuttering a bit. "Yes, chanwoo." Yunhyeong said with a smile on his face. The rest were still unsure about me so their faces were serious and I was kind of scared of them at first. 

 

"Do you guys want to go out with me? I am meeting a hyung for dinner and since it doesn't seem like we have enough food. He said I could ask you guys to join if I wanted to and that its his treat." I said still stuttering. It was true anyways. The announcement was so last minute that the food in the house wasn't enough to feed 8 people. Hanbin, jinhwan and junhoe had serious faces on them but the rest were all smiles.

 

"What is he treating?" Hanbin hyung said slowly. My smile became wider, he was finally talking to me anything besides our monthly evaluation. "Beef." Everyone's eyes perked up at the mention of me and shouted loudly. 

 

 

No one's POV

 

"YES! BEEF!!" Finally the food monster B.I was out. Everyone laughed and went to get ready to go out with Chanwoo who was grinning proudly. This might be the chance for him and Jinhyeong to get close to the team so he went over to Jinhyeong who was just fixing his hair at the mirror. 

 

"Hyung, I think this is our chance." Jinhyeong looked at him for a while not understanding the situation. Chanwoo smiled. "I am doing this so that we can be closer to them. But I am sure you were doing fine without me having to do this but still." Chanwoo said excitedly. Jinhyeong chuckled and shook his head at the younger. 

 

"Yah, I thought I was going to die of awkwardness out there. I was wondering when you were going to join us. Hanbin, junhoe and Jinhwan are no joke man. They are really hard to get through."They both laughed in agreement and high fived each other knowing so much how hard it is to break the walls of team B.

 

"Who is your hyung anyways?" Jinhyeong said as he sat on the couch with Chanwoo as they wait for the other members. "Lee Minho. But don't tell them yet. I want it to be a surprise." Jinhyeong eyes went wide and looked at Chanwoo like he was crazy or something. Chanwoo just smiled since he was so used to it when people ask about his hyung that he always talk about. 

 

"He said that he was going treat us to beef to celebrate my belated birthday since he wasn't here." Chanwoo said casually as one by one the members went out of their room. Jinhyeong just looked at Chanwoo blankly. He couldn't believe a single word that the younger was saying but then again, the younger did worked with the actor a few times. 

 

 

 

 

At the restaurant~

 

The members still didn't know who Chanwoo's hyung was but they were amazed by the shop that they eating at. Then when they saw Lee Minho their heart started beating rapidly. "Hyung~" Chanwoo said cutely as he went over to greet the actor. Minho just laughed and greeted everyone there. Minho was always excited when he met up with the younger because the younger never fails to pull up something unexpected as usual. 

 

"Hyung, this is my members. And hyungs, this is is my hyung. Lee Minho." Bobby faced was already excited and nervous meeting the famous actor and was so was the rest. But the only thing that was different about Bobby was that he managed to let out the word shit out of his mouth. Jiwoon's face went red since they all could hear it since Bobby didn't say it out loud. 

 

"How about you guys introduce yourself first?" Minho said smiling. He had always had the effect to calm people down and be friends them easily. One by one, they greeted themselves and warmed up to the actor. 

 

"So has Chanwoo cause any trouble yet?" Minho said shocking Chanwoo who choked on his water. Chanwoo glared at his hyung and smacked his shoulder. "I have never cause trouble on purpose before hyung!" Chanwoo said trying to defend himself. "Oh, please. You guys should have been there. He was a kid back then I got to admit that but he is still a kid now anyways, so he was on set getting ready to film when-"Before Minho could continue, Chanwoo quickly closed the olders mouth but the older just pushed Chanwoo off and continued the story. 

 

"He thought it would be fun to tackle the other kids. So they were running around and he was about to tackle on of the kids when he slipped on a banana peel that he was suppose to pick up after their break and fall backwards on his butt instead. He was walking funny for the whole day after that." Everyone was laughing at Chanwoo. The nuaghty boy that Minho was describing wasn't at all what the boy in front of them looked like. 

 

"How about you Jinhyeong hyung? Where you a naughty boy when you were a kid?" Jinhyeong blushed at Chanwoo's question and looked down at his plate. Everyone laughed and looked at Jinhyeong. "So you were!" Chanwoo said grinning widely. Chanwoo looked over to everyone and saw that they were enjoying each other company execpt B.I who was just smiling like he was forced too. Chanwoo walked over to HanBin and sat next to him since Minho was already occupied by sharing embarassing stories about Chanwoo to Bobby and Donghyuk.

 

"Hyung." Chanwoo approached the older slowly. The leader didn't oppose him but the leader was having a hard time. He really doesn't like the situation at all. He felt like he failed at protecting his members again. 

 

"Are you okay? You don't seem like you want to be here?" Even though the leader was the first one to shout Beef but Chanwoo knew it was because the other members wanted to go but they were waiting for him to answer. "I am fine." He said building up a bigger wall away from the younger. 

 

"Hyung, I know that you don't like having me and Jinhyeong hyung here. I know that you might think we are free loading on everything. You guys have practiced for 4 years and we have only for a few months. Trust me I didn't expect it either but when I am offered anything, I know I am not going to let it slip away just as an amazing offer like this one. I hope you can know my sincerity that I want to debut with you guys. For me, I think of you guys as role models and want to be as better as you guys." Hanbin looked closely at Chanwoo and stared at the younger. "Why do you want to sing? If you have to drop acting would you?" 

 

Chanwoo smiled sadly at the leader. He was always asked that question after and before he joined YG. He nodded his head with out a doubt. Some might say that it is reckless to answer that fast but for Chanwoo he had been thinking about it alot that he had a clear mission in mind. 

 

"If it comes to that then yes." Chanwoo said looking over to Minho. He knew if Minho had heard him now, he would totally pissed at Chanwoo and would most probably kill him. 

 

"Happy birthday to you~"Suddenly, Yang Hyun Mo's voice was heard Chanwoo's cast mate in the heirs came in.Chanwoo looked over to the door and saw him bringing in a cake with candles on it. And like that their conversation ended like that that night. 

 

 

 

Evaluation day~

 

Chanwoo's POV 

 

It was time for us to get feedbacks from YG. This was the first time and it was nerve wrecking. But I knew I had to stay calm for it so I did what I always do when I get nervous. I listened to Minho hyung's advice, just do your best. I didn't know why but Hanbin hyung reminded me alot about Minho hyung. I could see how Hanbin hyung loved the other members like they are his real brothers. Just like Minho and I. 

 

"Chanwoo, you did better than expected. You seem like you blended well with everyone else, I think that's because Hanbin did a good job in giving out the parts." I nodded my head and thanked him. Yes, he was right. I was amazed as well that Hanbin hyung trusted me enough to give a lot of lines. I didn't want to let him down so gave everything towards the performance. I could see him smiling at the compliment that was given to us. 

 

He talked about the performance a bit more, on how Junhoe stood out and that the performance was fun. After that we did the Dance and it went on smoothly. "I think the dance was okay. The other members seems to be blending in very well in the performance." He started off. 

 

"But I think you guys work better when there is tension and pressure, so to keep all of you guys on your toes. I am going to change the rules a bit." I could feel my heart beat so fast. At that moment, I could think about anything. What is he going to say? I couldn't predict it at all. 

 

 

"I am going to add another group member into the group and the 6 members will be competing as well to be iKon members." After YG said that, my heart dropped. What is he talking about? I couldn't help but feel sad and mad at the same time. I wasn't mad about the whole adding another member in the group. I was that kind of member so I didn't have the right to judge. But I think I felt sad and mad about making the hyungs compete. I knew what they had went through after watching Who is next win. I knew how badly how they wanted to debut together. After YG went out of the room, we all stayed and tried to process what happened. 

 

 

Bobby hyung was hugging Donghyuk and Hanbin said was telling them not to cry. He knew if he let Donghyuk cry he was sure that everyone else was going to cry as well. Yunhyeong knew that as well and tried to help calm Donghyuk hyung down. I just couldn't help but feel sad for them. But it doesn't mean that I didn't want to debut anymore. 

 

 

"Don't cry Donghyuk-ah." Hanbin said. I could tell that he was as upset as well. 

 

 

Hanbin POV

Looking at Donghyuk cry was making everything worse. We didn't want this. I felt like the team B was slowly breaking up if one decided that they weren't good enough. I knew this is suppose to make us stronger but I couldn't help but feel like I just failed them again.


	6. Chapter 6

Hanbin POV

I looked at everyone in the bus. Jiwoon, me and Jinhwan decided that the members needed to loosen up a bit and I had overheard Junhoe talking about wanting to go out with the members. So here we are on a bus. On our 2 days 1 night trip to for a relaxing trip to build team work. Junhoe was playing with Yunhyeong and Donghyuk was being goofy with the new members, Booby and Jinhwan were both whispering about what we should do when we get there. YG decided to give special time off for us to build our teamwork together before we knew that we were going to have another member that is. 

 

"Hyung, where are you taking us?"Donghyuk finally voiced out. I smiled and all of us just stayed quiet. "I see hills!" Bobby said pointing outside.

 

"I see spiked fence." Junhoe said looking at us like we were taking them to a prison or something. 

 

"Where are you taking us?!" Donghyuk said panic laced in his voice. "ARE YOU GUYS TAKING US TO A MARINE CORPS?!" Chanwoo said looking at Bobby. Bobby laughed out loud and nodded his head. "YES!" I rolled my eyes at Bobby. He was trolling them to much. 

 

As we arrived the camping site, the members unsurely walked out of the bus and looked around the place. Tents were sent up around the camp site. I called Bobby out as I pulled out a folded white paper and told Jiwoon to hold the other side. "Welcome to Jinbinwoon's IKON retreat!" Both me and Bobby said excitedly. Jinhwan was smirking at Junhoe who had his mouth wide open shocked and the others who was pretty much blur. 

 

"What are we doing here?" Junhoe said not liking that we were near the lake. "We are going to do a MT. To get to know everyone better, we got special permission to do it too so be prepared!" Jinhwan said evily as he looked over to the younger like he was forming a master plan or something, which was true. 

 

"Let's start with the water sports!!!" Bobby said running over to the lake. Junhoe looked at his hyungs worriedly. He really hated the water. Just then Chanwoo came at him and patted his back. "Junhoe! Let's go." Junhoe made a face at Chanwoo. Chanwoo was suppose to call him hyung not just Junhoe so he decided to play chase with the younger when the younger just pulled his tounge out at him. 

 

"YAH! JUNG CHANWOO! You're so going to die!" Junhoe shouted at the grinning Chanwoo who was hiding behind Bobby who was oblivious to the situation as always. 

 

"OK~ Hold up! We are here to learn peace and harmony with the members not to kill each other." Hanbin said laughing while looking at the naughty Chanwoo who was grinning at Junhoe who was held back by Donghyuk by a back hug which made the younger uncomfortable because seriously. He wasn't the touchy feely type and he didn't like skinship that much.. Even if he did had skinship, it would always be Jinhwan or Donghyuk. 

 

"Let's push him off!" Bobby said suddenly making the leader startled by the sudden attack of the members and made fall in the water. As the leader came up from the water, he cursed a little at them and went back up to them. Hanbin smiled evilly and walked closer to Bobby. "Let's push Chanwoo off!" Suddenly, Hanbin said as he turned around to the other. Chanwoo's eyes went wide as junhoe picked him up and brought him closer to the edge. 

 

"YAH! JUNHOE~ LET ME DOWN! YAH! ANDWAE!" Chanwoo shouted as he tried to wiggle his way out of junhoe's grip. Hanbin laughed and pushed both Junhoe and Chanwoo down. 

 

"I hope you guys be best friends soon!" Hanbin shouted happily as he shook his dripping hair at the youngest. Chanwoo wiped the water off his face only to be splashed again by Junhoe. Chanwoo just rolled his eyes mentally and walked back to the others. He had to struggle to get back up to the docks because as expected, junhoe would sometimes be pulling him or just splashing water at him. 

 

"Hyung! I want to ride that." Hanbin said pointing towards the float the was big enough for the eight of them. Two of them would be holding in front, three would be sitting down and the other three would be at the back. 

 

"Bobby Donghyuk and Chanwoo would be at the back, Me and Jinhwan would be at the front so you guys will be in the middle." Hanbin said after begging countless of times at Jinhwan to ride the thing. Before that of course they played Volley Ball by foot but that failed, misearablely tho. Everyone sucked at it which hurt their prides more because the game was taped on camera. 

 

They all nodded their head and walked over to the float and on to their positions. "Chanwoo you want to change spots with me?" Hanbin asked worried that the younger might fall off because he is at the back. Chanwoo smiled at the leader's offer and shook his head. 

 

"Don't worry, we will protect you." Bobby and Donghyuk said pulling and patting on Chanwoo's back. Chanwoo smiled and looked over to the rest. Jinhyung was getting much more comfortable with Junhoe and Yunhyeong which made Chanwoo smiled a bit. Eventhough they were rivals he still didn't want to the hyung to feel left out or anything. They were after the same goal after all. 

 

"Whatever." Hanbin mumbled and pouted as he stared in front. Jinhwan smiled at Hanbin and patted the younger at the back. 

 

"We are going to start now." The driver said. The started of slow and then there they were. 8 bouncing kids in the middle of the lake enjoying themselves. After the ride slowed down, Hanbin looked over to the back to see if anyone fell down and saw Bobby talking and playing with the camera. He jumped of as he handed the camera over to Donghyuk and Chanwoo followed suit. 

 

"Who wants to ride on the Banana Boat?" Jinhwan asked as he went over to the back and laid down exshauted that he had to hold on thight for the whole ride. He was strong for someone who was that small even the driver was amazed. 

 

"BANANA BOAT!" Chanwoo and Bobby chanted in the waters. Junhoe groaned and sighed tiredly as he helped Chanwoo and Bobby up to the float. "Junhoe says yes!" Chanwoo said sneakily as he pointed towards junhoe. Donghyuk who was near them laughed because he could hear Junhoe curse at Chanwoo a little.

 

"Let's!" Hanbin said as their float safely arrived back at the docks. "I want to be infront!" Hanbin said raising his hand up. Everyone laughed at the playfull leader and one by one they went on the banana boat. 

 

 

"We are going to test our teamwork on this! Don't fall off of the Banana Boat. Hold on tight guys." Hanbin shouted loudly so that the members could hear. Everyone held on tightly to their handles and endured the twist and turns. Chanwoo was now behind Hanbin and was trying hard not to fall off. "Chanwoo! Hold on tight, the last one is a hard one." Hanbin said over his shoulder. Chanwoo nodded his head eventhough he knew that Hanbin couldn't see him. "Okay hyung!" 

 

 

After the extreme rides and volleyball game, they finally had enough fun. They were officially tired. So they sat down in a circle in the middle there was a fire burning giving out heat towards the 8 boys who had grown closer to each other. 

"This is the first time our group has ever done this kind of thing. The MT I mean." Yunhyeong said as he passed a mug of hot chocolate towards everyone. "I know right." Donghyuk said as he cuddled up to Yunhyeong for warmth. Yunhyeong smiled and just let the younger do what ever he wants. 

 

"We haven't talked about the sleeping arrangements yet." Jinhwan said looking over to Junhoe. It was true, since they arrived.. Jinhwan had been forming a plan in his head that invovled Junhoe. Jinhwan loved to tease the younger, he was like a younger brother to jinhwan that he never had. 

 

"Can we talk about that later?" Junhoe whined as he tried to delay the topic. Everyone just shook their heads and looked over to Jinhwan so that he could continue what he was saying. "Since we are hear to do team building and get to know one another, its makes more sense if we sleep in a tent with the member who we are most uncomfortable with. Like there is something awkward between them." 

 

"What do you mean?" Finally Bobby started to get uncomfortable as to where the conversation was leading to. "What I mean is that you and Junhoe are going to be in the same tent." Jinhwan said smirking.

 

"WHAT! I am not awkward with him!" Bobby said out loud trying to protest the idea. Hanbin who was beside him laughed and just shook his head.

"Just admit it Kimbap. We all know that you are awkward with each other." B.I said while laughing and he pointed at the awkward atmosphere between Bobby and Junhoe as they exchanged looks at each other.

 

"Yea well--" Before Bobby could say anything there was a phone call coming from Hanbin's pocket. Hanbin sighed and stood up."Eyy! Hyung we are on a retreat. You aren't suppose to be using that." Donghyuk said pointing towards Hanbin's phone.

 

Hanbin stood and stared at it for a while before excusing himself.

 

"What was that?" Yunhyeong asked as Hanbin left to move far a way so that they couldn't hear his conversation. They all shrugged their shoulders and looked over to the direction that Hanbin left. 

 

"Back to the room arrangement. So you guys are paired up together. Hanbin can be paired up with..." Jinhwan said looking over at the others who weren't paired up. It was obviously that Hanbin would be paired up with a new member but which one. 

 

"Who here thinks that Hanbin is a bit scary?"Both Chanwoo and Jinhyeong looked at each other and raised up their hands. Jinhwan pouted and looked over at both of them. He had seen Chanwoo around B.I before but Jinhyeong was usually with Donghyuk or Yunhyeong or sometimes with Junhoe. Plus, Jinhwan didn't like the idea of Chanwoo and B.I in the same tent. 

 

"Jinhyeong you're going to be in a tent with Hanbin and Chanwoo you're going to be in the same tent as Yunhyeong just simply because you guys look alike and that you both are giving the awkward vibe with each other...." Jinhwan said as he turned his direction to Donghyuk who gave him a worried look. Meanwhile, Bobby and Junhoe was distacing themselves from each other with the awkward tension between them. 

 

A few minutes later, Hanbin was still on the phone at the other side of the camping site. He had his eyebrows furrowed and tiredness was shown on his face. 

 

"I need more time." Hanbin said slowly. 

 

"I don't know what to think about this. Have you even thought about this through?" Hanbin asked after getting a reply from the caller. 

 

"Think about Byul. You can't just--" "I know."

 

"Okay, when I get back I'll call you back. I am at a MT right now." Hanbin said massaging the bridge of his nose. "Okay, bye. I love you too." Hanbin said hanging up the phone and just staring at it for a while. At the same time a certain figure hurriedly went away from the place that he was hiding and went back to the tent that he was in. 

 

"Hey, are you okay?" A worried voice was heard startling him. He looked over to the owner of the voice and just nodded his head.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A double update for yalls cuz I feel guilty for not updating for such a long time. And I am not quite happy with this chapter so maybe I'll rewrite it but I think I would just let it stay like this. Well, a little double b but upcoming is a chanbin! Do comment and watch out for the upcoming chapters. And those from Asianfanfics, I am most probably going to stop updating there for a while( Not like I was updating constantly) until I finish updating this work till its recent chapter. :) TQ for wasting your precious time on this weird ass story of mine.

Show me the money 3 studios, recording

 

Hanbin and Bobby just got of their van and looked around the studios greeting everyone there. It was always like this, they may seem shy and innocent but once they got on stage they were different. Confident and charming.

 

"Hanbin you would go on after Jiwon. Get ready and in 30 more minutes you're up." The cordi noona said to Jiwon and Hanbin. Hanbin nodded their head and thanked her. 

 

"I am tired." Bobby said stretching his body. They just got back from the MT and they had to rush over to the recording session.

 

"Dont say you're tried. Then it going to feel really tiring." Hanbin said not looking Bobby. His head was preoccupied but he had always had sharp ears so he heard what Bobby said. 

 

"Right." Bobby said smiling encouraged by the advice that Hanbin gave. He went over to the waiting room to get ready not noticing that Hanbin was not following behind him.

 

Hanbin sat down at corner, shaking his head. He breathed in and breathed out deeply trying to calm his heart. He was mad that he couldn't remember his rap. His lyrics was jumbled up with a few of the lyrics that he was making using for the song that he was working on. He closed his eyes and tries hard to clear his mind. But no matter how many times he tries to clear his mind, his thought started to wonder in his mind and it starts forming worries in his head instead of calming him down.After a while he finally went in the waiting room, where Bobby was ready to get on stage. 

Bobby looked over to Hanbin worriedly and tried to shake of the thoughts that was forming in his head. He needs to focus. He needs to be sharp but there was only one problem. Bobby hated being on stage alone. It has already been a few months he went on stage performing alone but he made it through the whole performance completely because Hanbin was there watching him. Hanbin watching him made him feel more secure more safe like he wasn't on stage alone. But today was different, Hanbin wouldn't be near the stage so he wouldn't get to see Hanbin. Hanbin had to go and get ready. The more he thought about this more worried he got. 

 

"Okay, Bobby. You're up." The director said cueing Bobby to come up the stage and start his performance. But when it was time, he couldn't help but rap to slow or to fast missing the beats. It just sounded messy but the staff was very patient, they let Bobby go and take a break for 5 minutes so that he could recollect himself. Everyone knew that something was up with Bobby who had always shine on stage. The confident and swagger rapper that used to rap confidently on stage was not there. 

 

And as expected, Hanbin came out with a few small hair clips on his head with a displeased look on his face. This was the second time Bobby had seen this look. The first one was during the Win program but this one had a more curious and confused look on his face.

 

"I don't think I need to scold you hyung. I" Hanbin said as he sat down at the edge of the stage next to Bobby. "I know." Bobby said looking down at his shoes. 

 

"What is it this time?" With a straight face he didn't look at Bobby and just stared straight into oblivion. "I keep messing up the beat." After he said that, Hanbin turned to looked at Bobby with an even confused look on his face. "But you were fine when you were practicing in the car why is it wrong now." There was a moment of silence from both of them. Then Bobby finally told Hanbin what was actually going on. Hanbin looked down at his shoes and sighed. He was to absorbed in his problems that he didn't notice Bobby's problem making him wonder if the other members had also had this problem that he didn't know about.

 

"Hyung, I liked it when you were confident and cool on stage. There is nothing wrong being on stage alone. We just want you succeed. You might be higher than us now but we will get there. All of us. All six of us. There are more people out there wants what you have now. Show them that you have the right to be here instead of them." Hanbin said looking at Jiwon straight at the face showing that he was serious. 

 

"Thanks, Hanbin-ah. But I am not sure if I deserve to be here." Jiwoon said. Hanbin could hear the sadness laced in Jiwon's words. Jiwon always had the problem of worrying about other people. He never felt he was better than anyone else. He didn't know how talented and amazing he was when he was on stage. The way he would shine. 

 

"Do you trust me hyung?" He said smiling as he patted the olders back. "Of course I trust you." Jiwon said without a moment of doubt.

 

"Then trust me when I say that you deserve to be here. You are doing your best. Just think about your family back at home. And that can help you along the way. Just think about them and that you are working hard to bring them back here. We can't always be around for each other physically but we are always there for you. Supporting you. Your family and us." Hanbin said leaving the older to think about what he just said and went back to go get ready.

 

After the recording

 

They were both sleeping in the car. Bobby finally went back to his usual self after his talk with B.I , but things didn't go well on Hanbin's side. He had his own fair share of problems. He messed up his lyrics a few times but managed to finish his performance. When the older asked him about it, Hanbin just shrugged his shoulders saying that he just forgot his lyrics. It worried the older for a bit but Hanbin reassured him by saying that he was fine and that he just didn't have much sleep so he couldn't think straight. Which was true, Hanbin couldn't sleep. Even if he did, he had nightmares. 

 

Their manager knew this all to well. He would always see Hanbin shift in seat when in the car. Tossing and turning, there was also once he saw a tear come out of Hanbin's eyes but when he confronted Hanbin about this Hanbin just joked it of and said that he was hallucinating or something. 

 

"Andawe." Hanbin mumbled in his sleep. 

 

"NO!" Hanbin shouted as he was adruptly woke up from his dream. His shout startled both their manager and Bobby who turned to look at him worriedly. 

 

"Hahaha. Sorry, I was dreaming about a chicken eating me." Hanbin lied making Bobby and their manager shake their heads at Hanbin for dream such a weird dream. Bobby went back to sleep and Hanbin just stared out of the window looking over his shoulder once or twice the whole way back to their dorm. 

 

 

Back at their dorm, Bobby walked slowly to the kitchen to grab a late night snack only to be greeted by Yunhyeong who was cooking and flirting with Chanwoo. Bobby just rolled his eyes and took food in the fridge and walked to Jinhwan room to see what the older was doing but only to be greeted by the sight of June flirting with the older which the older was oblivious about just like Chanwoo with Yunhyeong. 

 

On the other hand, Hanbin was at their room lying down on the bed while their manager was sitting at Bobby's side of the bed because Hanbin wanted to talk to the hyung. 

 

"Hyung." Hanbin said slowly as he was playing with the ring. He decided that he shouldn't wear the ring. At least not yet. 

 

"Can you set up a meeting with YG tomorrow? I don't have a schedule right?" The manager looked at him and sighed. There was something seriously bothering Hanbin he wouldn't tell anyone and now suddenly he wants to meet the CEO. 

 

"You do have Mix and Match recording." He said reminding Hanbin. Hanbin sighed and closed his eyes with the ring in his clutches. 

 

"When do I have free time?" "Next week sunday. I'll set up the meeting." The manager knew, the only one that can help Hanbin was the members or the sajangnim. He doesn't seem to want to talk about it with the members so he knew that he should let the younger talk to the CEO. YG was always a wise man. 

 

"Should I be worried?" He said before he left hanbin alone in the room. Hanbin smiled at the manager and shook his head. "No"


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't read Chapter 7 yet, read it first. This is a double date!

Hanbin was sitting at the bench alone. He didn’t know what to do. After the call that he had and all the things that had happened this past few weeks has been wearing him down. He had always had the principle to stay intact and strong. Show a cold side if he had too, which he has. He thought he could survive all of this but at last… he was drowning. He couldn’t find a way to get back up again.

 

“Hanbin hyung.” Suddenly, Hanbin heard Chanwoo’s voice calling out to him. He closed his eyes. He didn’t want to talk to anyone right now. He was barely holding it together and trying hard not to cry in front of them but Chanwoo just had to show up.

 

Chanwoo went in front of his hyung and saw the leader with his eyes shut trying to block away the world. Chanwoo sighed and just sat down next to Hanbin. Chanwoo always knew what was going on. He was quick to realize things like this because he knew it all too well. He had seen those kinds of looks a lot. It was the kind of look that the whole world is against you and anything that you do is not right. Chanwoo looked over at the older who as now just staring into oblivion.

 

“I talked to Yunhyeong hyung. I told him you needed some time to rest.” Chanwoo said as he slowly looked through his jacket pocket. “Here, I thought you would need it. Besides sleeping this is the only that helps you clear your mind.” Yes, Chanwoo has observed everyone. He watched their habits and their mood swings. It’s become a common thing you see in the team.

 

“Shouldn’t you be practicing?” Hanbin finally asked as he took the mp3 away from Chanwoo’s hands. Chanwoo just smiled and looked around the park. Hanbin was curious as to why the maknae always loved to smile and just reserve himself from others. It was irritating because in the end, Chanwoo would surprise them by telling them things that they would never expect.

 

“We are taking a break. Bobby’s team is practicing right now.” Chanwoo said playing with the dirt on the ground.

 

“Why are you here then?” “Because I know that you shouldn’t be alone during these kind of times. You were missing for four hours yesterday. We all knew why. But we are all wondering why were you keeping it all in, when it’s your turn to fall down?” Hanbin frowned at the word. He didn’t like it. Falling down means giving up and losing. He glared at Chanwoo.

 

“I didn’t fall down. I just went out because I need some time to think. With all of you guys in the room, it was just too crowded and suffocating.” Hanbin said annoyed by Chanwoo’s presence now.

 

“Call you all you want hyung, but I knew what it was. I have seen it too many times to know that it was.”Chanwoo said with scoff. Hanbin grabbed the younger’s collar and glared at him.

 

“Who made you the smart guy? Look, you are being rude right now to me Jung Chanwoo shi.” Hanbin said with his teeth gritted with anger. He knew what Chanwoo was saying was right. He was falling but why did he have to admit it to Chanwoo. The person he knew least out of all the 7 members not counting Jinhyeong and Hyongseok.

 

“It’s because your friends are worried about you and you are bottling it all in! Hyung! They are all worried but they can’t talk to you because they know. They know how you feel. But knowing how you feel doesn’t solve the problem. Talking does.” Chanwoo said finally bursting in anger. Something snapped in him and he didn’t like it at all. The way that Hanbin called him by his full name just brought up unwanted memories in his head that he had blocked out forever.

 

It was funny how he was giving advice to Hanbin to talk about his problems but he himself had no courage to do it either. Both of them for the same reason, because they were scared to think that people would think that they were weak.

 

“Fine! I’ll talk to someone. But that someone is not going to be you.” Hanbin said as he stood up to walk away but Chanwoo managed to grab Hanbin’s hand before he could leave. “I am sorry hyung. I didn’t mean to yell at you.” Chanwoo said with a soft voice finally realizing what he did.

 

“I just wanted you to talk to someone. I have seen you with the others. They had problems, you are always there to save them. To pick them back up. Bobby hyung, yes he does help out a lot to but you were their support. You stood ground and talk to them when they needed to talk and just scold them to help them improve. We all know it has been harder on you then anyone else in the team.” Hanbin sighed and nodded his head.

 

“There is no point in talking Chanwoo-ah. In the end, the only thing that they would repeat is ‘it fine’ ‘you’re going to be fine’. It’s not that I haven’t tried talking. I have but it just doesn’t help.” Hanbin said frustrated as he sat back at the bench.

 

“Then talk to me. I won’t say its fine or you are going to be fine.”

 

Hanbin looked at the younger, he didn’t know what came over him but he talked. He told everything to Chanwoo, the phone call the things that was bothering him these past few weeks. It could be the way that Chanwoo’s eyes were being sincere and serious but in a calming effect kind of way.

 

“If you tell anyone, you’re dead.” Hanbin said finally threatening to punch the maknae. Chanwoo tried to block it with his hands and just laughed it off. “Don’t worry hyung, I won’t.” Chanwoo went over to Hanbin and hugged the older. It wasn't a pity hug, it was warm and loving. It was so tender and full of understanding that it helped ease the pain in Hanbin heart. 

 

 

 

 

After a while, they went back to the dorm and saw a fidgity Jinhwan pacing back and forth at the enterance of the house. Bobby was sitting on the couch munching on potato chips while looking at the older. When the door rang, Jinhwan quickly shot his head up to look at who it was. Before Hanbin could say anything else, Jinhwan went over to Hanbin and gave the young leader a hug. This time the hug was different. It was different from the way Chanwoo hugged him. It was the same, warm and tender but there was also worry in the hug. Jinhwan was hugging him thightly afraid that the younger might run away again. Hanbin could feel comfort in the hug that he haven't felt for a while. Just like his mothers hugs him.

 

“Yah! NEXT TIME BRING YOUR STUPID PHONE!" Jinhwan as he hit Hanbin's chest just as Hanbin enter the house. Bobby just chuckled and pointed at Hanbin. "I told you that he would be back soon. See you didn't have to worry."

 

"You shut up!" Jinhwan shouted as he threw a pillow at Bobby. "You! Why didn't you tell us that Hanbin was with you?" Now it was Jinhwan's turn to point his finger at Chanwoo who just put his hands up in defence. "I did!"

 

"Hyung, I am back now. Stop worrying. Come on, let's make Yunhyeong cook us something." Hanbin said trying to calm the older down by pulling the older by the waist to Yunhyeong and Junhoe's shared room. Chanwoo just smirked and shook his head. He walked over to sit next to Bobby and sat down with them. "I thought you had practice hyung?" Chanwoo said reaching in for a piece but Bobby quickly pulled the container away and grinned at the younger.

 

"They are. I had to comeback here because Jinhwan hyung was nervous." Bobby said munching a piece of chip in his mouth to mock the youngest. Chanwoo rolled his eyes and turned his head to see when the two best friends are going to realize that no one was home. "Hey, where is everyone?" Hanbin asked finally as he came into the living room with Jinhwan hand in hand. Jinhwan was pouting and was finally calm.

 

"Practice."Hanbin frowned and looked at Bobby and Jinhwan. "Aren't you suppose to be at practice?" Jiwoon just smiled and nodded his head.

 

"Yea, but that worry wort was worried so I had to come here being the Eomma of the group and all. I can't let my kids go missing can I?" Ji woon said with a grin as he pinched Hanbin's cheek. Hanbin slaped the hand away and shook his head. 

 

"Just because you guys are fixed members doesn't mean that you guys can slack off from practice. You too Chanwoo! Don't you want to win?" Chanwoo just grinned and hurriedly went out of the house leaving the three of the best friends in the house.

 

"I like that kid." Hanbin said laughing as he saw Chanwoo had to struggle to put on his shoes before going out of the house.

 

"I thought you were going to run away again." Jinhwan said as all three of them sat on the bed at Bobby and Hanbin's room. "I am not going to do that anymore. I promised that all six of us is going to debut. Doesn't matter if we add another one but all six of us have to debut."

 

"Hanbin-ah." Jinhwan said after a long pause of silence between them. B.I was sitting down next to Bobby playing with his hair and Jinhwan was sitting next to Bobby with Bobby's hand slung over his shoulder. Jinhwan hesistated for a while and looked at Hanbin and Bobby. 

 

"I am kind of disappointed in you." Jinhwan said looking down fidgeting with his hands. They both looked at Jinhwan waiting for the older to continue. 

 

"I am disappointed that you won't tell us whats wrong. You keep things bottled up and I hate it. I hate seeing it without being able to do anything. I know that you are working hard to produce our songs and all and with the battle going and Show me the money, I just think that if you are having a hard time you should tell us." He stuttered leaving Hanbin feeling guilty. 

 

"Because I know how you feel. You are having more hardships rather than us being the leader and all. I know that you feel responsible for us but I have been disappointed in you. I thought that we were close enough that you would talk to me or at least Bobby first. I feel like I should bite back my words trying hard not to get you mad and it's like I am tip toeing around you. I hate feeling like that. Rather than us being closer together, I feel like we are falling apart." A tear dropped from Jinhwan's eyes. The burden of the young leader was well known by the trio because they had been with the younger longest. They haven't had time to sit down and talk about whats happening to them that the situation had worsen and they were at the verge of breaking their friend ship. 

 

"I know that I am not the best person. I am hot tempered and that I am grateful that you guys tolerate me. I want to talk to you guys about it but I feel like we are just so close that I don't know if I should talk to you guys about it. I am suppose to be a rock for you guys. I should be able to stand all of this without having any problems but....I am sorry." Was all Hanbin could say. He didn't know how he could express this to his hyungs. 

 

They are so close that he was afraid that if he did talk about it, they would think he was weak and it would just bring the others down. That they didn't have an expandable leader who could withstand anything. He didn't know how his seniors and other leaders could do it with so much ease. 

 

"Yah, brat." Bobby said with a sad tone. He looked at his two other best friends. He knew there was a strong bond between Jinhwan and Hanbin.

 

It doesn't take a genius to know how much the older loved the youngest. The older had always told Jiwoon how he really wanted to help Hanbin out in anyway but the only source of help he could give the younger was supporting him and working hard himself. Hanbin had always been a perfectionist. He showed a lot of maturity for his age. He made sure the others were in line and tried hard not to show his temper to them.

 

"We need to talk about these things. The last time we almost had a big fight if you didn't tell us what was wrong keep closing up on us. If you are disappointed in us say it, if you think we are doing wrong just say it. We are team. We have to tell each other this stuff." Bobby said getting angry that Hanbin was still blaming himself and not trying to share the burden with the others. Hanbin looked at Bobby and smiled sadly. 

 

"Hyung, I am tired." Hanbin said slowly as he looked at both Jinhwan and Bobby.


End file.
